spirit doors

surrendering thought

2009-02-11T10:09:00.008-05:00

Think lovingly, speak lovingly, act lovingly, and every need shall be supplied.~~James Allan

Spending time with yourself is a creative act of healing and regeneration.

Even when I take the time for solitude, however, that time often becomes a cycling of emotions, up and down, as the story I'm telling myself goes through it's dramas. Why is this happening to me? How will I get through this? I remember something I forgot to do. Wouldn't it be fun if...? And so off goes the mind, back in its driver's seat again, taking me through a thoroughly entertaining ramble, but totally out of myself.

Sometimes I catch myself, and try to be present, now. And then I start thinking about how I might handle things once I have settled down, once I'm beyond now...right back into the non-existent future.

That is not the only technique the mind and ego have for asserting the dominance. It gets uglier. Something happens that I wasn't expecting or wanting, or my wandering thoughts return to a sore spot, a tender place of hurt and pain -- and bam! I start telling myself the all too familiar story of how I never get anything right, or never succeed, or bad stuff always happens to me, and I am always in pain. It doesn't matter that it's all negative stuff; my ego is just getting bigger and bigger in this completely made-up scenario and has made itself the tragic hero of the piece!

And what happened to myself during all this time? I am forgotten. How quickly I was drawn away from being with myself, spending time with myself, and followed the mind skittering off this way and that, frenetic, restless, searching, busy, busy, busy. What a relief it would be to have some silence from my mind for a time. I start to realize I am not my mind, but my mind tortures me with thoughts!

How interesting it would be to really create space for yourself for a change, to really be with yourself, to offer yourself some gentleness, some loving kindness.

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.

Remind yourself that you have allowed your mind and ego to be in control for a long, long time. Your mind is not accustomed to letting go and being quiet. You need to be gentle with yourself before you can be gentle with anybody else. Each fragment of a split second in which there is a gap between thoughts is good enough, a resting place. It may not be a long period time, but it is a space, it is deep and it is enough. Be loving with yourself. Speak lovingly to yourself. Peace and regeneration of your spirit will come.

2009-01-14T11:35:00.004-05:00

"We can learn to meet whatever arises with curiosity and not make it such a
big deal. Instead of struggling against the force of confusion, we could met it
and relax. When we do that, we gradually discover that clarity is always
there."~~ Pema Chödron

Recently I discovered Christine Kane's blog and she immediately became one of my favorite bloggers. I check in with her blog daily and often find the exact thought that I need to carry me through my day. It seems whatever I am struggling with in this moment, I can find words of wisdom on Christine's blog that help me gain perspective.

Yes, I'm still struggling and finding it very hard to relax into this reality in which I find myself.

the happiness formula

2009-01-05T17:07:00.003-05:00

Is there a way to find happiness? To come up with the recipe, surely one must first know what happiness is. This BBC site has some interesting information on everything from scientific explanations to political solutions!

self-reflection

2009-01-05T16:48:00.002-05:00

The New Year is a time for self-reflection and if you're thinking you should have landed on Day 1 with a plan ready to go, Sez Who?

I think it will be very beneficial for me right now to stop a moment and do some self-reflection and a site I found that you might enjoy too is the University of Pennsylvania's Authentic Happiness site, where you can do some personality tests that cover all sorts of topics such as general happiness, your strengths, optimism, compassionate love, close relationships, meaning in life, and your satisfaction with life.

the second commandment

2009-01-05T16:10:00.002-05:00

(Mark 12: 31)

When asked which commandment was most important, Jesus replied that there were two which were equal. The first, "love the Lord thy God..." and the second to "love thy neighbour as thyself."

I've often thought about the second as being a commandment in two parts, and realized that just as loving myself does not mean being self-indulgent, it also protects me from allowing my neighbour to walk all over me.

However, recently, being in a bad place where I was castigating myself for another year of unfulfilled resolutions, I mercifully stumbled upon these words on what loving myself might look like. See if they don't make you feel like being just a little kinder to yourself too.

-To be patient with yourself
-To be kind to yourself
-To not be envious
-To not let yourself become prideful
-To not be rude to yourself
-To be considerate and look out for yourself
-To not be easily angered with yourself
-To think good things of yourself and be happy with the truth
-To not keep a record of your flaws
-To always protect yourself
-To always trust yourself
-To always hope for and seek the best for yourself
-To never give up on yourself
-To never fail yourself
Taken from 1 Corinthians 13!

heaven

2008-12-30T13:33:00.006-05:00

"My kingdom is not of this world." John 18:36.

Lately, I have been disturbed by the tendency in many major religious camps to make of the Universal Source an earthly and temporal kingdom, nation, or state. They think to make God or Allah or the Divine Poodle rule their world through laws and courts, hijabs and wars. To be perfectly clear, I am tarring nearly every nation today, every religion, with the same brush because I feel they are, sometimes unconsciously, acting as if they, through human design and acts, can construct the Kingdom of God on earth. They presume to enforce what they regard as the laws of God or Allah (or the Divine Poodle) and designate themselves to be the sole interpreters of God's will, the only ones to act under His/Her authority. And by doing so they dare to put themselves above God!

And yet, all the time, within and around us is The Invisible World. When you are born into this world, it's as if you have arrived at the threshold between the visible and invisible. Everything you experience seems to happen in some specific place and at some definite time. But you know your real life is happening in your thoughts, in the way you experience your world through the perceptions of your mind, the way your mind interprets the input of your senses. You start to wonder about the nature of things, the reality hidden deep within them, inaccessible to your senses. You realize you often touch on Reality with only your heart and your mind. Therein lies the tension of human existence, the desire to know what is invisible, the dissatisfaction with the concrete world of our senses. Thus, the longing of the human heart for The Kingdom of God is perhaps an expression of our desire to bridge the tension we feel between the visible and the invisible, to experience Heaven on earth.

I often wonder if prior civilizations, spiritual adepts, mystics and great sages were more easily able to bridge that gap. That is perhaps why the following story delighted me so much. It comes from my friend, Dr. Arvid, so I'll let him tell the story:

I need to tell you a short story that pastor Turneh Woldeselassie shared in the
surmon on Sabbath in Addis Abeba. He just finished 4 weeks of meetings and 23
people were baptized. They have started to translate the surmons into English
because there are so many members from other African countries that need it.
Pastor Turneh felt it a little difficult to av an 'interruptor' as they
somethime call a interpreter. So he told the following story. 'In olden days
many missionaries came from abroad to preach the gospel in Ethiopia. (Now they
need missionaries from us in Europe and America, he said) But one time there was
an American missionary. The Ethiopian translator was not so very well versed in
English and struggled some. After a while the missionary started to preach about
stars. And when he mentioned gallaxies and stuff, the translator got lost. So he
said to the congregation: Now the missionary has gone to heaven, but if you just
sit quietly and patiently and wait, I will tell you what he has said when he
returns to earth.' We all had a good laugh.

It is the naiveté, the childlike innocence of the remark that makes us laugh. But don't be fooled, for Jesus said, "of such is the kingdom of God."

We tend to believe that our age, our society, our science and our wisdom is very great, and we arrogantly and foolishly depreciate the understanding and wisdom of other cultures, past and present. We tend to have a poverty of a deeply felt connection between our spiritual values and the natural world. What we depreciate in those we call "primitive" or "pagan" cultures, is often that close relationship of their spiritual life with their lived presence in close contact to the natural world.

Most of us live in cities so flooded with light-pollution at night that we have never experienced the night sky so brilliant with stars it feels as if one could reach out and touch them! To us, how empty of richness are the words of God to Job when He asked: "Canst thou bind the sweet influences of Peiades, or loose the bands of Orion?" We are unable to perceive the invisible in the mountains and forests around us, living as we do quite divorced from the natural world, literally and spiritually. And we, in our misguided pride, think to impose our impoverished spiritual understanding on the world around us! Heaven forbid!

Perhaps our spiritual lives would be juicier and more joyful if we could frankly appreciate and believe that our preacher has momentarily gone to heaven and will return to us if we sit quietly and patiently and wait!

I think we should just shut up, sit quietly and wait!

focus

2008-12-30T12:57:00.009-05:00

The other day, somebody commented on photos of me, saying that this one taken recently in Africa was much more flattering than one taken about 10 months ago. I had noticed that too, but unfortunately, I understood that the flattery came from the photographer's technique.

You see, it was not that I was incredibly happy or in love or thinking happy thoughts -- none of those things would have been true. It was not even that I was in a wonderful and beautiful place, a place reached after a long and difficult journey -- this I was!

No, alas. The real reason I appear more appealing is due to photographic technique. My travelling companions and I had conscripted a road construction worker in the mountains of Ethiopia to take that photo of us. He certainly wasn't used to handling my camera and might have even never actually handled a camera at all ever before. But he was willing and the result was a slightly askew, slightly out-of-focus photo which flattered me immensely. (see below)

So, I got to thinking. Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone that sees us could always be looking at us through the slightly askew and out-of-focus lens that blurs our flaws and wrinkles and renders us glowing, younger and looking like we're in love all the time?

Now, isn't that a good idea?

I notice all the time when I talk to people that their focus tends to be so often on the negative. It seems to suck the life right out of the room and I often feel drained after listening to such negative conversations. Why not focus on the positive? At least if it makes me look younger and happier, eh?

Santa Claus

2008-12-26T12:03:00.003-05:00

This has made the rounds before but it is such a heart warming story it should be seen every Christmas. This is too good not to share...

THE SANTA CLAUS STORY

I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma. I was just a kid. I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bomb:

"There is no Santa Claus," she jeered. "Even dummies know that!"

My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me. I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed with one of her "world-famous" cinnamon buns. I knew they were world-famous, because Grandma said so. It had to be true.

Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between bites, I told her everything. She was ready for me.

"No Santa Claus?" she snorted.... "Ridiculous! Don't believe it. That rumor has been going around for years, and it makes me mad, plain mad!! Now, put on your coat, and let's go."

"Go? Go where, Grandma?" I asked. I hadn't even finished my second World Famous cinnamon bun.

"Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one store in town that had a little bit of just about everything. As we walked through its doors, Grandma handed me ten dollars. That was a bundle in those days.

"Take this money," she said, "and buy something for someone who needs it. I'll wait for you in the car."

Then she turned and walked out of Kerby's.

I was only eight years old. I'd often gone shopping with my mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by myself. The store seemed big and crowded, full of people scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping. For a few moments I just stood there, confused, clutching that ten-dollar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to buy it for. I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my neighbors, the kids at school, the people who went to my church. I was just about thought out, when I suddenly thought of Bobby Decker. He was a kid with bad breath and messy hair, and he sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock's grade-two class.

Bobby Decker didn't have a coat. I knew that because he never went out to recess during the winter. His mother always wrote a note, telling the teacher that he had a cough, but all we kids knew that Bobby Decker didn't have a cough; he didn't have a good coat.

I fingered the ten-dollar bill with growing excitement. I would buy Bobby Decker a coat! I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it. It looked real warm, and he would like that.

"Is this a Christmas present for someone?" the lady behind the counter asked kindly, as I laid my ten dollars down.

"Yes, ma'am," I replied shyly. "It's for Bobby."

The nice lady smiled at me, as I told her about how Bobby really needed a good winter coat. I didn't get any change, but she put the coat in a bag, smiled again, and wished me a Merry Christmas.

That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat (a little tag fell out of the coat, and Grandma tucked it in her Bible) in Christmas paper and ribbons and wrote, "To Bobby, From Santa Claus" on it. Grandma said that Santa always insisted on secrecy. Then she drove me over to Bobby Decker's house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever officially, one of Santa's helpers.

Grandma parked down the street from Bobby's house, and she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his front walk. Then Grandma gave me a nudge.

"All right, Santa Claus," she whispered. "Get going."

I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the present down on his step, pounded his door and flew back to the safety of the bushes and Grandma. Together we waited breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open. Finally it did, and there stood Bobby.

Fifty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent shivering, beside my Grandma, in Bobby Decker's bushes. That night, I realized that those awful rumors about Santa Claus were just what Grandma said they were, ridiculous. Santa was alive and well, and we were on his team. I still have the Bible, with the coat tag tucked inside: $19.95.

The Pastor's A...

2008-12-16T12:43:00.004-05:00

This is one of the hard-working little donkeys found everywhere in Ethiopia. Such a part of my earliest childhood memories, donkeys have a special place in my heart.

The story below was sent to me this morning by my wise and thoughtful friend, running-buddy and pacer, David G. It gave me such a lift (I laughed my ass off!) and it was a little reminder that I needed, especially today...

The
Pastor's Ass

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and
it won.

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey
that he entered it in the
race
again, and it won again.

The local paper read:

PASTOR'S
ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of
publicity that he ordered
the
pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline
read:

BISHOP
SCRATCHES
PASTOR'S
ASS.

This was too much for the bishop, so he
ordered the pastor to get
rid
of the donkey.

The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a
nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted
the following headline
the
next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted.

He informed the nun that she would have to

get rid of the donkey, so she

sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read:

NUN
SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the bishop, so he
ordered the nun to buy back
the
donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run
wild.

The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is . . being
concerned about public opinion
can bring you much grief and misery . .
even shorten your life.

So be yourself and enjoy life.

Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and
you'll be a lot happier
and
live longer!

Have a great day!

mantra

2008-11-06T23:27:00.000-05:00

Gayatri Mantra Bonus Track - Deva Premal

om namah shivaya

2008-11-06T22:31:00.001-05:00

Om Namah Shivaya -

need inspiration?

2007-09-25T12:41:00.000-05:00

My friend John sent me this and I watched it again and again, completely awestruck. Maybe you will find it inspiring too. Or maybe you were not like me, taught very early on to believe a lot of mostly useless stuff about how and what I should be by the "big people" in my life. They did love me and it's not their fault that they were utterly unaware of the dreams that God had put into my heart. They were only trying to teach me as they had been taught how to live a good life.

Unfortunately, sometimes the design for our lives is not the one others imagine it to be, as they often imagine only from their limited experience. Meanwhile, the great Universal Force is creatively expanding, expressing itself through the new dreams in our hearts, if we allow it!

"This is a story about a guy, a guy like most of us, common, questioning his existences, measuring himself to others, never believing in his abilities or his worth.

Then one day, his passion outgrew his fears as he stepped onto a stage, a stage that took him to a place beyond his self imposed prison.

Watch the faces of the judges as this guy walks out on the stage. You can almost see what they’re thinking as they pre-judge this guy based on his looks and the fact that he’s a cell phone salesman.

Maybe this guy stopped believing in what people told him for so many years and ultimately started listening to his passion."

questions

2007-07-30T19:42:00.000-05:00

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves....Do not now seek the answers which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them and the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer."

~~ Rainer Maria Rilke

Letters to a Young Poet

cleaning house

2007-07-21T11:13:00.000-05:00

It's okay to be gentle about change. You could throw open the doors to your cluttered heart and the howling winds of change could blow through, laying the floors and walls bare. Or you can slam the doors shut. Close the windows. Keep your clutter. Rearrange it if you want. Perhaps you lost a few things that blew out the back door, out the windows, when you opened the front door a little. Or maybe a storm tore through your heart and it seems like you lost everything. Relax. Be gentle with yourself. It's okay to close the doors and windows again and sit with whatever remains of your familiar stuff until you're ready to throw out some more junk. You'll notice you have a bit more space. You may notice new things you might want to put in the new space. You may notice you'll need to rearrange stuff to get a better fit. You may notice you'll want to get rid of more stuff in a more deliberate manner. It's okay. Whatever. You are in charge of your heart. You get to decide to open up or close your heart any way you want.

extravagance

2007-07-15T15:06:00.000-05:00

This deer was eating fallen apples in my yard this afternoon; and I had been mildly scolding myself that I should pick up all those apples and put them in the compost pile! I'm so glad I hadn't gotten around to that chore, or I would not have had this lovely visitor. And I could also tell myself that I if I had not just at that moment been finishing my yoga practice, I would not have been by the patio doors where plants and other things do not hide my view.

It reminds me stay open to every momentary glimpse of beauty.

Nature is strong and wild in its primal form. Will, passion and the natural impulses do not need to be judged, tamed or broken. When one consciously accepts and nurtures both the wilder and more refined energies within oneself, and in others, one can see the harmony that exists between all levels of Creation, the inner and the outer. Nothing has to be a disruptive energy in our lives if we can be at peace with the world as it is. The differences in the spirit and desires of all living beings around us cease to be so important and full of drama when we can simply and unconditionally love everything and everyone around us. We can be a still point in what appears to be a storm of contradictions around us. There is no story. There is just this moment in which to be. And one can be grateful for that.

perfume

2007-06-19T12:17:00.000-05:00

" Awake, north wind, and come, south wind;
blow upon my garden that its perfumes may pour fourth,
that my beloved may come to his garden
and enjoy its rare fruits."
~~from The Song of Songs, attributed to King Solomon

Be Hospitable

2007-05-29T22:39:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, it is hard to allow and observe, without judging our thoughts and emotions. Just as I was starting to wonder how to cope with the endless emotions that come up day to day, moment to moment, chasing the thoughts that flit through my mind, I stumbled upon this last post from Jude.

BE HOSPITABLE

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
-- Rumi in The Essential Rumi, translation by Coleman

Found this at long-toothed hinterland dweller, posted way back in January.

anti-lord's prayer

2007-05-28T15:42:00.001-05:00

"...forgive us our conformities

and deliver us from normal...."

courage

2007-03-12T02:01:00.000-05:00

"The journey of wholeness requires that you look honestly, openly and
with courage into yourself, into the dynamics that lie behind what you feel,
what you perceive, what you value, and how you act.

It is a journey through your defenses and beyond so that you can experience
consciously the nature of your personality, face what it is has produced in your
life, and choose to change that."

~~Gary Zukav

prayer

2007-02-27T17:54:00.000-05:00

"Dear God,
May every aspect of my being be converted to Truth.
May every cell fall into place and serve a higher plan.
I no longer wish to be who I was.
I wish to be more.
Amen"
~~Marianne Williamson, from Illuminated Prayers

intention

2007-01-26T10:32:00.000-05:00

"The mental intention underlying an action is always more important than the action itself. Our reality is manifested from our thoughts. As we think, so we will become. Any action is potentially liberating or binding depending on the intention."
~~ Sharon Gannon and David Life, The Art of Yoga

I'm feeling a bit sad, melancholy and disappointed. The hopes and dreams I had for a relationship just weren't possible with this man. He has gone back to his life and I remain in mine. I have no regrets. It was fun while it lasted: the newness, the anticipation, the exploration.

A longish visit held revelations for both of us, however. I don't want to descend into fault-finding, blame or anger, though. I still see the wonder and greatness in this man, so even though we will not pursue a more intimate relationship, I hope we will continue to be friends.

"But I want first of all to be at peace with myself. I want a singleness of eye, a purity of intention, a central core to my life...to live 'in grace' as much of the time as possible. By grace I mean an inner hamony, essentially spiritual, which can be translated into outward harmony."

~~Anne lindbergh

anticipation

2007-01-04T12:06:00.000-05:00

Hopefully, readers of my other blog, "Realmud Garden", will find their way here. Maybe temporarily, maybe permanently, I will post here, because it is impossible for me to post on Realmud at the moment.

Anticipating Christmas was for me the excitement of having my family visit me here, some of them for the first time. It had been a few years since I had hosted Christmas, so I was also pretty keyed up about that.

Funny how Christmas is one of those holidays which for me is as much about the anticipation as the day itself.

Is it a religious holiday for me? No. But do I love the old Christmas hymns and carols? Of course. Is that inconsistent? Maybe.

It doesn't really worry me much. As I've studied faith and religion over the years, I've come to realize that all the symbols and traditions of Christmas, like so much in our culture, is often based on something much older, maybe even older than pagan traditions: the need we seem to have for marking the cycles of life, measuring time and celebrating our better instincts, family, caring, humanity and community. Do I care if the lights on the tree referred at some time to the fear engendered amongst some more 'primitive' peoples by the darkest time of the year --nah! Do I care if Santa Claus has become the ubiquitous red-garbed gent of a Coke ad -- oh yes, I hate that!!

But really, the whole point for me is marking the year in a way that is very out of the run-of-the-mill ordinary days of the year, with ceremony, decorations, traditions, celebrations, food and wine, family and friends and lots of hugs and laughter and love.

the path

2006-10-05T23:47:00.000-05:00

"Believe those who are seeking truth. Doubt those who find it."
~~Andre Gide

"If you meet the Buddha, kill him."
~~Zen saying

loving the distances

2006-10-05T22:54:00.000-05:00

"Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky."

~~RAINER MARIA RILKE, Letters

Symptoms of Inner Peace

2006-09-25T14:07:00.000-05:00

(I found this on this Buddhist Meditation site. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! I printed off a copy for my office and several more to post at my paying job and to give to my friends and family!)

Be on the lookout for symptoms of inner peace. The hearts of a great many have already been exposed to inner peace and it is possible that people everywhere could come down with it in epidemic proportions. This could pose a serious threat to what has up to now been a fairly stable condition of conflict in the world.

Some signs and symptoms of inner peace:

A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences.
An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
A loss of interest in judging other people.
A loss of interest in judging self.
A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
A loss of interest in conflict.
A loss of ability to worry (this is a very serious symptom).
Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.
Frequent attacks of smiling.
An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.
An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

WARNING: If you have some or all of the above symptoms, please be advised that your condition of inner peace may be so far advanced as to not be curable. If you are exposed to anyone exhibiting any of these symptoms, remain exposed at your own risk.

remembrance

2006-09-11T17:09:00.000-05:00

Rosemary, is as Shakespeare said, the herbe for remembrance. 'Ros marinus', Latin for 'dew of the sea', it is a bitter herbe, steeped in lore and magic. Perhaps at this time, it is appropriate to remind us of those who have lost their lives in the tragedy of 9/11 and since, either from the after-effects of the toxins and injuries at the site itself, or from the wars and violence unleashed in the response to it. May it help us also remember that we all inhabit mortal bodies, walk on the same earth together. May it remind us to resist Evil in all its guises, cleanse and purify our thoughts and enhance our knowing and honouring of the sacredness of life everywhere.

Via Fran at Sacred Ordinary, I found Spirituality and Practice, where Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat write about spiritual practices for remembering 9/11. When I read Fran's comments, I realized how much heaviness I had felt today, way beyond my lowest low energy levels, and how, whether we often realize it or not, a universal energetic vibration will affect our individual vibration ( much as the Sunday-day-of-rest feeling always affected me, even though I was raised a Seventh-Day Adventist :) !! )

Reading the "I Am" poem written upon the events of 9/11, I choked with tears. If only...hah! If only. Such is the conflicted world we live in. How difficult it is to live with compassion, understanding and unity with other human beings, whether here or in other parts of the world.

I will take some time this evening to weep for ourselves and our world. Then, after a little while, I will get up and go on living my life as best I can.

visions

2006-09-02T17:57:00.000-05:00

"I am circling around God, around the ancient tower,
and I have been circling for a thousand years,
And I still don't know if I'm a falcon,
or a storm,
or a great song."
~~Rainer Maria Rilke
Selected Poems

dreamtime

2006-09-02T16:38:00.000-05:00

"All creatures -- from stars to humans to insects -- share in the consciousness of the primary creative force, and each, in its own way, mirrors a form of that consciousness. In this sense the Dreamtime stories perpetuate a unified world view. This unity compelled the Aborigines to respect and adore the earth as if it were a book inprinted with the mystery of the original creation....To exploit this integrated world was to do the same to oneself.

...Every land formation and creature, by its very shape and behavior, implied a hidden meaning; the form of a thing was itself an imprint of the metaphysical or ancestral consciousness that created it, as well as the universal energies that brought about its material manifestation...One cannot consider the visible and invisible worlds separately. The Aboriginal languages that emerged from this world view are rich in a metaphoric flow integrating physical, psychological, and spiritual levels of experience."
~~Robert Lawlor, Voices of the First Day, Awakening in the Aboriginal Dreamtime

web resources to Aboriginal Art, Culture and Spirituality
Stories of the Dreaming , hear the voices

renewal

2006-08-28T18:10:00.000-05:00

"There is in us an instinct for newness, for renewal, for a liberation of creative power. We seek to awaken in ourselves a force which really changes our lives from within. And yet the same instinct tells us that this change is a recovery of that which is deepest, most original, most personal in ourselves. To be born again is not to become somebody else, but to become ourselves."
~~Thomas Merton

new pencil crayons

2006-08-27T14:38:00.000-05:00

It’s the season when I always feel the pull to make a new start.

I used to look forward to it so. I loved the new notebooks, pencils, erasers, in fact, every part of the new stash of school supplies. Pristine, they were ready to accept the new markings of learning I would make upon them. I loved assigning a different coloured notebook to each subject, carefully writing the subject and my name on the cover. I loved the new clothes. There were not a lot of new clothes because there was never a lot of money back then, but the new clothes were the costume of the new me of my imagination moving forward into new successes. I used to be filled with happy optimism back then.

My favorite new thing was always the package of new Laurentian coloured pencils. (scan along to the '60's to see how my pencil crayons looked ) Lined up in the plastic sleeve, an orderly rainbow of colours, I would lovingly write my name on each pencil, then place it back precisely into its ordered home.

Somehow, as the years progressed, it became more and more difficult to maintain that initial orderliness. The slim, neat, coloured notebooks became a memory. Increasing complexity, the distractions of puberty and doodlings of boredom, hurriedly completed assignments, nearly illegible notes scribbled onto sheets of looseleaf, were all stuffed into a bulging binder by the time I got to high school. Then the sheets of loose-leaf refused to stay put, spilling out in any old direction in the three-ring binder, even when I resorted to using those little, round, glue-on, hole-reinforcers.

Long after I really had any need of them, I kept insisting on a new package of Laurentian coloured pencils each year. And yet, even their perfect newness seemed to fade more and more quickly as the years progressed. Dull, chewed-up, stubby lengths soon filled the plastic sleeve. Sharpened down beyond the point of no return, beyond the label with the descriptive colours, "French Green", "Blush Pink", "Indian Red", the stubs became so short, fishing them out of the sleeve became a chore.

And yet, every year at this time, that spark of hope for a new beginning is there, even after all these years: a clean slate, a new page, a new dress, a new classroom, a new teacher. But now self-doubt and the baggage of a life lived, threaten to snuff out the flame. The hope of a new beginning drags along too many incomplete endings, beginnings that I never began properly, and "middles" that are hopeless muddles! Mess and clutter! It just isn’t possible to end everything from the past, leave it all behind and rise Phoenix-like from the ashes of a life. It used to be so easy, but now too many parts of one’s life must be continued, even as one contemplates making changes.

Change, hope, ambition and desire are necessary on the path. They are what move us forward. The journey is already ongoing. There is nothing for it but to continue. But how? There is that moment of dark wondering: just how does find and take the next step?

That is the time to be still and wait. In the silence, clarity will come.

You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and
listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quite still and
solitary.
The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice,
it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.
-- Franz Kafka

That's the mystery of it. By stopping the fretting and worrying, I allow the essence of it to reveal itself to me.

Then again I will know the next step to take. I will face the disoder of my desk and re-arrange things into neatness. I will do some cleaning out, throwing out old and tattered notebooks and exercise books, worn out pencils and nubs of used-up erasers. Old ways and old relationships will get a polish or get set aside. New books, new teachers, new friends and new ways of being will be ahead of me and I will feel again the thrill of possibilities in that crisp dewy September morning of a new phase of life and learning.

Bishop Gene Robinson

2006-08-10T13:54:00.002-05:00

At Father Jake Stops the World, you will find a review of Elizabeth Adams' (of the Cassandra pages) book, Going to Heaven, the life and election of Bishop Gene Robinson; a description of the sobering degree to which security and the safety of the bishop became a concern after his election; excerpts that in part explain how a Christian might interpret and live with the few passages of the Bible that mention homosexuality. I recommend this highly. A refreshingly open-hearted religious point of view with integrity, vs the usual hysterics I encounter.

them and us

2006-07-10T13:38:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Anvilcloud whose comment sent me off to find out more about John Spong. Fascinating reading indeed! I am grateful for those like Spong who give a voice to those who would otherwise continue to be excluded by the church.

Maybe it's just my melancholy mood with the rain today and all, but, my reaction is more sadness. In the end, it has always seemed to me that the Church has been dragged, kicking and screaming to accept, for example, the abolishment of slavery, the ordination of women and now, the full acceptance of homosexuals into the life of the church. How appallingly easy it is for the church (not just Spong's Anglicans, but you name just about any Christian religion today) to use the Bible to justify, rationalize, or whatever else it is they do with it, a continuation of the prejudices and fears of the past! How refreshing it would be if the church were to take the lead for once on issues of social justice!

Unfortunately, in most places I have visited, I see church pews often filled (more often empty), with people going through the motions. Awful things have been said from the pulpit and it has been only rarely that somebody in the congregation objected - in my hearing, anyhow! Paralyzed in the pews, people can never start living that revitalized, joyous, abundant spiritual life they claim to want, if they are waiting for external authority. They are sitting in the pews because it's their version of the social club. They do what they have to to belong there and they surround themselves with others like them.

I have seen unbelievable arguments arise over the most petty things! Do you think God cares a hoot if a political/institutional/economic/legal entity called the church enacts this expression of doctrine or that? In the long run, who cares? No matter what churches have declared or pronounced there are still people who enjoy believing that certain races, classes, sexes, styles of dress, etc. etc. etc. (ad infinitum to the point of NAUSEA!) are inferior, wrong, sinful, blah, blah,blah. Of course, "we love them, and I don't have a problem with them, personally, but..."

The standard is pretty simple to me. Love god, love yourself and love others in the same way you love yourself. I said simple, not necessarily easy.

You want examples of petty? When I was growing up in my church the congregations were 90% little old ladies. They never cut their hair, wearing it up in severe buns prickly with bobby pins and smoothed down under hairnets as well. They dressed in somber colours, dresses with long skirts, thick stockings and sensible shoes. So miserable were these old ladies that younger women, like my mother who had, in her travels, seen a different way of being within the same church, dressed down terribly. My mother tried to grow her hair long ("the crowning glory of a woman, etc.") and only rarely expressed the longing to cut and colour her hair in the current styles of the day. I think back, and I see all these sober young women looking like dead moths! Of course, what were the words that were implied if not used? Church women in foreign countries were sinful and careless, forgetting that we are to "be sober, vigilant and pray without ceasing."

Ugh! I hated church and I hated prayer meetings. If ever those horrible old ladies had a chance to open their mouths, do you know what poured out? Tears, sobbing, penitence, melancholy, darkness, dustiness -- over and over and over again. Where was kindness? Where was joy? Where was peace? Should you ever think you might make your public statement, it had better be couched in those terms, deepest darkness despair, awful frail sinfullness, begging god's forgiveness, begging god's care for the multitudes of the lost and sinful (in foreign lands, of course), gratitude that we have the truth, that our lives are so much better than theirs, we are just so much uglier and sadder and more bitter than those heathen that we must be nearly saints! There just were certain forms and phrases you had better spit out...it didn't matter if many phrases were utter nonsense.

Oh my god, I am so tired of it all. Where is the love? Where is the joy? Where is happy creation and creativity? Where is beauty?

My personal challenge is to live now, act now, be now the kind of person I must be on my own spiritual path. I thrill to the subversive act of St. Francis who simply walked away and started talking to the ANIMALS, for god's sake!

Here's a funny story that I believe my ex-mother-in-law won't mind that I share! She spent many years hating her father-in-law, who was reputedly a rough man with a loud voice who had often been cruel and hard to her and everyone around him. By the time I met him, he was an old man, suffering from chronic disease. When I knew him, he was facing the dreadful diagnosis of cancer in a city that frightened him and that he did not understand. He went home to die and as he was nearing death, my mother-in-law was there. He made a death-bed repentance," making his peace with God", as the saying goes. Now, my mother-in-law is a woman of great faith. But even she admits that it bugs her something awful that after a lifetime of (in her eyes) dissolute living, selfishness and great cruelty, this man has, as she believes, been forgiven and will be in heaven inside those pearly gates where she hopes to be too! I love her for telling this story on herself and that she fully laughs at herself in admitting that heaven just might be too small for both of them!

Isn't that the most delightful story? What more can I say?

Why I Feel Sorry for St. Paul

2006-07-05T00:19:00.000-05:00

In my spiritual evolution, I came to a point where I was being bludgeoned over the head with the misogynist values of St. Paul, and decided that that god could not be mine any longer. While I still believed in my god, I refused to go to church where I was afraid I would hear more of the terrible stuff that either expressed fear of, or disgust with, or plain disinterest in women (and usually by extension, children).

Then for a long while, I claimed to be a pagan, rejecting the Judeo-Christian notion of a paternalistic God altogether, preferring to address myself to a goddess, or fairies, or a pantheon of gods. Often, as I searched out more information about these higher beings, I found more limited thinking about the roles of male/female, the mystic union of the complementary principles and of sex.

Finally, I think I have found a more sensible solution. I call the Higher Being(s) our Source, of which I am a part and to which I will return.

Never mind all that, however. I want to get back to St. Paul.

As I read, researched and investigated, I was struck again and again, by how the inspired writers seem to be expressing a universal idea, in much the same way as multitudes of patent seekers apply for patents on the same or similar inventions at the same time. It’s as if the invention springs because it must from a universal ground of need or inspiration, even when the inventors have no obvious connection or opportunity to share/compare/steal ideas. At least, this was purported to be true before the appearance of the internet, when ideas and information traveled around the world more slowly.

All the writers I am reading seem to be expressing the same idea, that a universal energy flows through us, is accessible to us, is a part of us and everything in the universe. Whether they use the same words or not, they all seem to agree that this universal source is benevolent, constantly abundant and flowing towards us, and can be affected by us. They all express in different ways the idea that we limit abundance in our lives by our thoughts and perceptions, keeping our containers too small to receive the good things for which we, through our intentions, have expressed a desire.

And all these writers, I would propose, are no more or no less perfectly human than the inspired writers who were collected into the tome labeled the Bible. In fact, the battle as to which writer belonged and which one did not, raged for years. There exist several versions of the Bible in use today, even among Christians, the Apocryphal books being only one example of the divisions of thought as to the holiness of some writers or not. How Holy the resulting Bible(s) may be is debatable, particularly when the church leaders were also very interested at the time in destroying much writing which they feared might undermine their authority and thus weaken their earthly power base. No letting a holy book stand or fall on its own merits for them! Oh no. They got quite busy burning and destroying anything which smacked of the "old religions", even when the books might have dealt with such differing subjects as astronomy, astrology, medicine or mathematics.

Not only did they try to destroy books they suspected weakened their position, the church leaders also deliberately destroyed any writing which showed how blatantly some of the stories and characters of the new Holy Bible and the teachings of the church, were lifted or transposed directly from the tales and myths of the old religions, including, horror of horrors, the character of Christ himself.

Now, I have come to the conclusion that, as Paul’s writing even predates the writers of the Gospels (whose accounts of Jesus’ life are wildly inconsistent), and as Paul was educated in Greek thought, living in an era of the ascendancy of the power of Rome, he was humanly susceptible to the influences of his time. Not a far stretch, that conclusion. Oh, I’m quite aware that many devotees of the Bible would argue that Paul, as did the other Bible writers, wrote the God’s truth, unadulterated by human foibles or weaknesses. But that would weaken God’s position, as far as I’m concerned.

In the Rome of Paul’s time, for example, the god Attis was venerated by a large segment of the population. Attis, the myth tells us, had castrated himself. There were also some extreme Gnostic sects of the most severe ascetic forms that celebrated castration as a means of separating themselves from the earthly temptations of the flesh. Eunuchs were common. In today’s societies, eunuchs exist, perhaps for medical reasons, but are so hidden as to be thought nonexistent. In contrast, in many societies of Paul’s time, eunuchs filled socially important roles of responsibility. In fact, in the history of early church music, eunuchs were sought after for the unique quality of their voice which did not undergo the same alterations a boy’s clear childlike voice does after puberty.

Some of these trends of Paul’s time are very interesting in the light of Paul’s mystical allusions to his own physical "affliction" which he gladly bears as a follower of Christ who made the ultimate sacrifice. In fact, Paul often encourages people to remain unmarried if they can, while admitting that if they cannot, they must avoid fornication by getting married. As a euphemism for the penis, the "old man of flesh" and "the desires of the flesh" that Paul so often condemns might be construed to mean physical cutting away of his natural God-given sexual organ as well as sexual desires.

I was taught the language was symbolic of the sinful nature of mankind as opposed to the heavenly or other-wordly nature of those devoted to the Spirit. It is still easier for me to interpret Paul’s words in symbolic terms of good vs evil, but I can see how it might be that Paul was talking quite physically indeed in the traditions of the more ascetic sects of his day who very physically bore the marks of their devotion on their bodies, as Paul says he bore the marks of Christ on his body.

Paul’s words on the evils of the flesh were so potent that they, along with the philosophies and flawed science of writers such as Aristotle, loosed the curse of Christian hatred of women and sexuality/sensuality on the Christian West for centuries to come. Do I even need to mention Thomas Aquinas, Constantine, St. Jerome?

Or even Martin Luther! It’s all very well and good for Protestant religions to claim that they are not the misogynists that the Catholics are, patting themselves on the back that Protestant priests/ministers are allowed to marry. Yet other than rejecting the Pope as the Head of Christ’s Church, they haven’t strayed far from the teachings of teh antiquated writers of the early Roman church or the Middle Ages.

Few Protestant religions allow or accept the ordination of women. Most Protestant churches struggle with the role of women in society. Most Protestant churches preach the same old thing as to how women fit into marriage. They have great difficulty redefining the role of woman, wife, mother in a society that generally has the same problem. And most Protestant churches have great difficulty with the whole topic of sexuality: homosexuality, premarital sex, masturbation, birth control, and all the variations and preferences of sexual practices along the vast range what is possible.

What is normal? What is healthy?

While most scientists prefer to keep such question around sexuality open, churches rush in with the dusty, moth-eaten platitudes of the Catholic church, sometimes quite aware that they are doing so, usually claiming their own view as being the only Right View, based on the Bible.

While we are just beginning to discover how complex sexuality is, how fascinating and mysterious the human body and the sexual instinct, there are still men and women who believe as they have been taught, the silly myths of centuries ago.

What are some of those myths? Here are some:
Women’s sexual organs, the external labia, etc. are "dirty, smelly, yucky…"
Men have a greater sexual drive than women.
Women are earthy while men are celebral, even spiritual. Or the opposite: women are more pure, while men are driven by baser passions.
It takes longer for women to have an orgasm than it does men, if women do have orgasms at all.
Even many men believe their own external sex parts are "that dirty piece of flesh".
A woman wants to please her man, taking little pleasure from sex herself in comparison, often submitting to sex only because the man desires it, even to the point of finding sexual intercourse to be an unpleasant and painful "duty".
Normal sexuality is heterosexuality with the purpose of procreation.

I don’t really need to go on. However, from Masters and Johnson, Shere Hite, and to many other researchers today, the only conclusion we really can make is that normal sexuality is very difficult to define, in part because sexuality is still such a taboo subject!

Although it is used to sell everything (in ads that feature impossibly beautiful, buffed and polished, models who never break a sweat or have an embarrassing blotchy flush of sexual excitement) by those very Christians who yell the loudest about "family values" – I call it the "tease" that never delivers-- real sexuality, as it happens between real imperfect people, with their lumpy or hairy or sweaty bodies, is taboo.

Difficult then, to find out what real actual people are doing in the privacy of their own homes. Note that sex acts that occur in public, or that are openly discussed even among friends, become quite suspect as abnormal! Most people know so little about sexuality and are so uncomfortable talking frankly about sex, that any revelation is greeted with shock, hilarity, horrified disapproval or disbelief.

An example of that from my own life can illustrate here what I mean. In a group of my peers in the health care field, during a break from our work, a woman frankly delighting in the discovery of her sexuality, shared that she had discovered that she can ejaculate large volumes of fluid and that she has such a thing as a G spot. The responses ranged exactly as I described above from shock, embarrassment, hilarity, horror, disgust, disbelief and doubt, to disapproval and shunning.

Good grief! The general tone was so loud that any quiet voices of interest, curiosity, open sharing or identification decided to opt for discretion, including mine!

I have this image of people engaging in this kind of sex act or that, perhaps trying something that one partner or the other had read in a pornographic magazine or seen on a pornographic video, all the while worried that they are perverted or wicked or both. Maybe men are more open about such topics, although I doubt it. While men may boast about sexual achievements, they probably do not talk about the real emotional and sensual journey that sexual intimacy is. Perhaps among homosexual men, such talk is easier and would contribute to the sexual knowledge I believe many men could benefit by. Certainly, it’s been my limited experience that while women may admit to sexual activity and the enjoyment of it, most women I know rarely are very specific or descriptive as to the activities they enjoy. And most women I know do not claim to be religious, so it’s not religious restrictions that limit the discussions!

So, back to St. Paul. Perhaps if we really understood the social influences of his time, we might even have a soft spot for his misogynist views and sympathize with his struggles on his spiritual journey. We might even draw lessons as to how limited our own social views might be from the perspective of the society of the future, which might collectively be further advanced in understanding and spiritual growth.

We certainly admit that St. Paul’s advice to the slave to remain with his master would be advice that we would hesitate to give today. And yet, I have listened to all sorts of contortions and distortions in my church when teachers and ministers tried to support, explain or soften the teachings of Paul regarding the ordination of women, the subordination of women to their husbands, etc. Why not just freely admit that Paul was wrong? Poor Paul.

There you see, is the crux of it. How dare any writer, any teacher, any thinker, put it down in black and white for all the world to see, for future generations to puzzle over, laugh at, pick apart, misinterpret, reinterpret and distort into a hard blueprint for their lives? What a cruel God to pour inspiration into some miserable human writer which has to come out in human words, through human understanding and perception?

Or, can we rejoice that poor Paul turns out to be a human being, inspired yes, a little bit weird, living in very different and also weird times, but inspired and impelled to write down his experiences, his beliefs and his teachings, as misguided as they turned out to be?

How much more poignant Paul’s spiritual journey and life’s work becomes when viewed through the lens of a human being reading the writing of another human being, inspired to change his life and teach others as best he could. A flawed human being is much friendlier as a model than some austerely perfect saint. That as misguided as we might be ourselves, we can trust that we too will be inspired? That a merciful God might accept us too as perfect, just as a loving parent accepts the first faltering steps of a toddler? That flawed and human as we are, our struggle along our journey too may be a holy one?

thoughts about love

2006-04-11T00:30:00.000-05:00

Recently, I've read a couple of things about love that made me think.

First, Anne Lamott said she used to believe that it was a black and white world, that everything has its opposite: dark/light, high/low, etc. But now, she believes love does not have an opposite. Isn't that a wonderful thought?

Second, reading an interview with Tibetan Buddhist Lama Gehlek Rimpoche in the Toronto Star on Sunday, I started thinking about love and attachment.

Of course, we become attached to those we love, our children, our grandchildren, our lovers...In some ways this is healthy and helpful. Investment of ourselves in those relationships to a healthy degree is good for all concerned. An extreme is always to be avoided.

Lately, I've been pondering the attachment we experience in the anticipation of a relationship, the obsessive questioning: "Is this The One?" (perfect lover, perfect mate, perfect son/daughter, perfect employee/employer, perfect client, etc.) It is so much easier to stay in the moment, enjoying the unfolding, the goodness of each person one encounters as they are now--without weighing them against what we perceive to be lacking, what is "not good enough" in each person or in ourselves to make the relationship with this person The One.

If, as I have come to believe, we attract into our lives whatever we dwell upon, it would be foolish to start noticing the defects and shortcomings our relationships and complaining to the universe; we will inevitably be presented with more of the same! Haven't you noticed how often a woman goes from one abusive relationship to another? Or how often, if you just know you are going to have a great day at work, dealing easily with coworkers or clients, etc, you do end up having a great day?

Therefore, if we can somehow manage to see the best in everyone we meet and enjoy just that, without worrying about whether they will measure up to our expectations and ideals of The One, maybe they will continue to grow better and more beautiful forever, whether our lives continue a parallel path or not. If not, the universe is ready to bring along an even better and more beautiful person whose path will run parallel to ours for a while or longer...

This is my very pleasant mystery of the moment: how to detach myself from my images of The One, and start enjoying right now.

body of experience

2006-03-06T14:12:00.000-05:00

I have been reading Julia Cameron: The Right to Write, An Invitation and Initiation into the Writing Life. Here's a little quote from it that struck me deeply.

For several centuries now, in the West, we have engaged or indulged in an
expensive dualism in which body and mind are separate and mind is
ascendant. The mind, diembodied, divorced from the heart, can rationalize
atrocity: the ultimate solution can seem, on paper, like a good
idea. It did to a number of people. If we continue to divorce our
hearts from our art, it could again.

And then, Cameron continues with a paragraph on conscience. I think it's pretty amazing.

compassion

2006-02-25T20:01:00.000-05:00

"The Dalai Lama often reminds us that bodhicitta, the compassion and love which is the heart of enlightenment, is cultivated by considering not just our own welfare, but the welfare of all sentient beings. To do this requires a deep understanding of our connectedness with others and of what it means to cherish all life. This often means developing a different point of view about even the smallest details of living."
--Lama Surya Das, Awakening the Buddha Within, Tibetan Wisdom for the Western World.

sex & religion

2006-02-05T20:56:00.000-05:00

I noticed the other day when I stumbled upon a discussion at Adventists for Tomorrow ("a VERY independent discussion forum for Seventh-day Adventist Members, Former Members, Friends, Supporters, Detractors, and THOUGHTFUL PEOPLE. Who desire more freedom of expression than is usually found in cyberspace") that although I found much of the discussion silly, the topic stayed with me. The topic was: Hyveth Williams, it's an OBSCENITY that this woman is a Seventh-day Adventist "Pastor!"

Read the discussion (click on "topic" above) and then let me make a few observations.

First: sex is not separate from spirituality. All those compartments that some of the participants have tried to create for all the stuff of life...good grief! I may be completely wrong here, but I think that those conservative white men should just stop pretending! But no, they are so afraid of real sexuality but so compelled by it, like some of the early Church fathers, that if they don't think women are evil, they think there is a distinct possibility that most sex is evil -- or at least, dirty. It must be a sin, if like St. Paul, they are compelled to think "evil continually". (how many times does a man think about sex per hour while awake, I did read that somewhere, not counting dreams associated with those dreaded nocturnal emissions -- oh my god, stop already!!)

Second: sexual intimacy is as good an analogy, maybe even better than some, for a spiritual relationship, even an ecstatic relationship, with the Divine. Should read the Sufi poet, Rumi, for example. Or, as allegories, what are all our countless myths and legends wherein we find a love story saying about life -- it's divorced from Spirit? I don't think so.

Third, I read the whole Bible as a legend, many parts of it based on myths that predate the Bible, which nevertheless, can give us a clearer conception of the mystery of the Divine than an historically "accurate" story. There are story-telling devices in the Bible that many of us have never heard of, number symbology being just one, but which also pre-date the Bible. The uses of such devices would kind of force the 'facts' to stretch a bit, wouldn't they? Oh, I don't doubt for a minute that if the Bible had been "dictated" by God, such devices would miraculously adhere to the historical facts, but then how, with only flawed human languages at our disposal, could we ever hope to understand "God's version"?

Fourth, in "The Pagan Christ", Tom Harpur argues that the story of Christ, as interpreted by the traditional Christian churches, misses the point. As the Christ figure is another ancient archetype which also pre-dates the Bible, by making Christ a literal historical character, we miss out on a great deal of the mystical symbolisms that were part of Christ-like figures of ancient pagan religions.

Harpur alludes a bit to the deliberate obfuscations by the Church of the origins of the "Christ" and "Mary", but he hardly goes far enough. Much of traditional Christianity spent centuries trying to deny its roots in very earthy, pagan and goddess religions, stuff that came before the Egyptian, Greek and Roman gods Harpur discusses a bit.

Before the paternalistic Christ-like figures of mythology, there were the Mother/Goddess religions in the cradles of Western civilizations: the Nile, the Tigris-Euphrates, the Indus, the Ganges. Semite and Indo-European invaders, herders of goats, sheep and cattle, animal-orientated hunter-cultures came and wiped out the earlier agricultural, planting-culture systems where the Goddess was the dominant mythic form, replacing it with male gods, and eventually one God.

It is no stretch at all to assume that many of the cultural rituals around courtship or marriage, in the cultures that the Israelites (the Jewish people) encountered, may indeed have been very overtly sexual, totally outside of the bounds of the "sex only within marriage" ideal that many still hold. The Israelites had no problem, by the way, in killing all the people in the cities they conquered, raping and pillaging, except the "virgins", whom they took away with them and "married."

Never successfully obliterated, although many tried over the centuries, the Goddess was often beautifully celebrated, even during the dark times of near-total patriachal-Church domination, as exemplified by the stunning churches of the 12-th and 13-th century French cathedrals: the Notre Dames.

Many of the traditions and rituals of the goddess religions were highly sexual, ecstatic and passionate expressions of the spiritual life of "birth and rebirth." The terminology has survived even into Christianity, in spite of the systematic efforts of the Church to destroy all Goddess temples and worship, co-opting them into the worship of Mary when it couldn't wipe out the goddess worhips completely. Much of the Inquisition and the Crusades were an attempt to eradicate the old pagan and goddess religions. Thousands upon thousands of books of higher learning were destroyed as well, because their writers were thought to be practitioners of the old ways. It really was a misguided exercise in "throwing the baby out with the bathwater", in an effort to consolidate the power of the Church, under the guise of clarifying doctrine or purifying the believers.

And yet, most of the Protestant churches today spout the same patriachal pap, without seriously questioning it, making "pagan" the pejorative it is today, and obviously, also spouting the same perverse "hatred of the flesh" (a euphemism for sex, BTW), and women, who are the object of those fleshy, libidinous impulses (women not being seriously capable of higher, spiritual thought). It therefore follows that women must be evil, being such temptresses. (Did you note the frequent references to Williams' purported "flaunting" of her body? Surely no religious woman would blatantly enjoy her femininity so flagrantly, would she? In the old goddess religions, it might have been considered a mere matter-of-fact, down-to-earth, grateful and reverent enjoyment of one of the pleasures of life. See my previous post about "growing down"!)

The examples of the vestiges of goddess-worship that remained, are far too numerous to go into here.

The yearning of male/female for their counterparts goes beyond libido. I believe that even though there have been awful conflicts between male-centered and female-centered idealogies for centuries, as many intellectuals today are hinting, we may just be entering an era of a duality-unified consciousness, where we see the Grail as the yin/yang duality, with yin within yang and yang within yin, something beyond male and female: OM, the Divine Oneness...
Afterall, it does say even in the very patriarchal Bible that "in Jesus there is no male or female".

Personally, I am looking forward to a time, when men and women get over it already! Life is supposed to be fun. It is often untidy, difficult and bewildering. That's what all those myths and stories tell us. And sex is a part of it all, messy, fun, juicy, confusing, passionate, interesting, complicated, mysterious and very much a part of the question: what is the real meaning of life and love? what is all this Creativity about?

spirit having human experiences

2006-02-02T16:42:00.000-05:00

I just finished reading a lovely chapter called Growing Down, in James Hillman's The Soul's Code, In Search of Character and Calling.

According to Hillman, our culture values the metaphors for our lives that focus mainly on the upward part of organic motion, not appreciating the legitimacy of growing down. "Each person in the culture struggles blindly to make sense of the darkenings and despairings that the soul requires to deepen into life."

He points to the difficulty little children have with reality, their wonder at the practical everyday things of life. He says the Japanese have an idea that litle children must be under constant care, "kept close, brought into the human community," by the presence of the mother or caregiver, because the infant has "come from so far away."

I think that's such a sweet image. But it does point out the difficulty of the ultimate achievement of growth, to plant a foot firmly on earth, a far later stage of growth than anything begun in the head. The Buddha's life exemplifies how to grow down, leaving the halls of wealth and privilege to encounter the sick, poor and aging in the street, and through enlightenment, answering the question of how to live life in the world. In fact, the greatest buddhas do not leave the karmic wheel, but return to live among those struggling to live in the world to show them the path.

In turning the mythical image of a tree growing upside down, it's roots in heaven, and the branches reaching downward toward human affairs, Hillman cites the Tree of the Kabbalah in the Jewish and Christian mystical tradition, the order of the Christian creation story, and Plato's tale of the Myth of Er.

In Plato's story, souls choose their human lot before being born into the human form, passing through the plain of Lethe (oblivion, forgetting) along the way.

And a lovely Jewish legend gives evidence for this forgetting in the crevice below your nose. This little indentation is where the angel pressed its finger to seal your lips, and is all that is left to remind you of your pre-existing soul-life.

Something to think about.

the adventure

2006-01-22T19:21:00.000-05:00

"and what keeps you from
that place
that gives you that
total feeling
& experience
& knowing
of FULLFILLMENT is
all of this posturing, all of your thoughts,
all your way of organizing your world,
all of your plans, all of your games,
your exploring."

"We're talking about a metamorphosis.
We're talking about
going from a caterpillar to butterfly.
We're talking about
how to become a butterfly.
I mean: the caterpillar isn't walking around saying: Man, I'll soon be a butterfly
Because: as long as he's busy
being a caterpillar
he CAN'T be a butterfly.
It's only when caterpillarness is done
that one starts to be a butterfly
and that again is part of this paradox.
You cannot RIP AWAY caterpillarness.
The whole trip occurs in an unfolding process
under which YOU have no control."

~~from the book Remember Be Here Now, the Lama Foundation & Baba Ram Das

aging & stars

2006-01-20T16:52:00.000-05:00

A short while ago, I received photos from my brother, who had visited my parents in Vancouver at the New Year. What struck me and left me a little afraid and sad was to see that my parents are aging. Strange how a photograph can make that so much clearer than when I am actually with them in person. Maybe it is the illusions that all our history together creates that clouds my vision.

"Death is a mirror, which reflects and illuminates both the vanity and the meaning of our lives." ~~Lama Surya Das

"For age is opportunity no less
Than youth itself, though in another dress,
And as the evening twilight fades away,
The sky is filled with stars invisible by day."
~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "Morituri Salutamus" 1875

2006-01-17T01:39:00.000-05:00

winter afternoon sun over ice on Sturgeon Lake

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." ~~Ralph Waldo Emerson

grace

2006-01-04T14:54:00.000-05:00

"When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it's bottomless, that it doesn't have any resolution, that this heart is huge, vast, and limitless. You begin to discover how much warmth and gentleness is there, as well as how much space."
~~Pema Chodron

"...when we finally know we are dying, and all other sentient beings are dying with us, we start to have a burning, almost heartbreaking sense of the fragility and preciousness of each moment and each being, and from this can grow a deep, clear, limitless compassion for all beings."
~~ Sogyal Rinpoche

Via slacktivist, I happened on the story"My Advent Adventure," by Anne Lamott. I have been a fan of Anne's writing for a long time, after I first happened on Bird by Bird.

"That is happiness; to be dissolved into something completely great."
~~Willa Cather

rich christians in an age of hunger

2006-01-03T22:32:00.000-05:00

some great reading here that gives one something to think about

why old women are witches

2006-01-03T21:53:00.000-05:00

And she could turn stupid chickens into Sunday dinner, seeds into flowers, yarn
into mittens, milk into children, shit into soil. This is why old women are
witches: soft eyes of old potatoes become flowers then food in a ruthless magic.
They've been around long enough to know. Young girls (this is the seventies, I
should have been watching TV) kneel in the garden to watch (still surprised) as
first one, then two, then all of lunch's potatoes appear out of the soil.

a post on the garden blog: Tender Dirt, a small garden in Iowa, which no longer seems to be actively updated. Pity.

homage to 21 taras

2006-01-03T21:13:00.000-05:00

I found a lot of interesting illustrations and more history regarding Tara here, and spent quite some time happily trying to read the chants and prayers. I would love to hear how the chants and prayers sound when pronounced correctly.

I do have a couple of CD's of chanting. I should check them out. Update to follow.

tara

2006-01-02T13:36:00.000-05:00

For Christmas, I received a beautiful CD of yoga music, by Deva Premal. The first mantra on the cd is this:

"om tare tuttare ture swaha"
Mother of All, guide me.
Supreme Goddess, protect me and open my eyes to the Light.

Chanting is a common practice in many religiious traditions around the world, but I wanted to find out more about Tara.

In India, Tara is called "the most revered" of the old pre-Vedic Goddesses. Tara is the Indo-European name of the primal Goddess Earth, known in all the countries populated by the Aryan people, from India to Ireland.

In Buddhist Tibetan tradition, images of Tara represent her sitting, not in full lotus position, but with one leg and one hand down because she is reaching out. As the liberated female principle of enlightenment, Tara, like all mothers, has much to do, much to give. In fact, her images appear in twenty-one different colours, symbolizing twenty-one aspects and modes of activity: pacifying, enriching, subjugating and eliminating.

Tara, as the Goddess of Compassion, the Universal Mother, was born from a tear shed by Avalokiteshvara, as he looked upon the suffering of the world. As the embodiment of this great love, Tara heals. The contrast of our every-day reality with what we desire, awakens in us great longing. Tara, as the mythological nurturing mother, sees through her eyes of compassion and love, that our ills and discomforts are nothing more than great Songs of Awakening.

As the wheel of the year turns, we celebrate the Sun's return, the resurgence of the energy and the active outward expression of the creative self-knowledge found during the inward focused days of darkness, like Cronos sleeping in the mists of the Western Isle, dreamed into being this physical reality. A new cycle begins as we grow in our ability to restore and heal the wounds of separation, fear and dominance with the compassion and love of the Goddess.

My practice today is two-fold (and may evolve over the next several days or more):

Acceptance of and embracing the broom (OOoooh, so witchy!): Mental and physical housecleaning is very invigorating. I embrace the desire to perform the tasks that will be my lessons and duties at this moment. I am willing to examine and sweep clean, to wipe out old, outworn and undesirable attachements, whether they are beliefs, attitudes or things. I re-examine those beliefs, attitudes or objects that I value and treasure, caring for them, nurturing them. And I affirm my willingness to let go and get rid of those things that no longer serve me. This makes room for the second step of my practice.

I thoughfully choose the new beliefs, attitudes and things that I want to become a part of my life in the future. I contemplate the perceptions and intuitions of inner truth that I want to express in my life. I state them to myself as positive affirmations of my power to survive, thrive and grow.

I know my belief in a Power greater than myself will flow through me, guide me, protect me and heal me. Out of this One Intelligence comes all the answers, all healing, all creativity, all love, all healing. Whatever I need will come to me in the proper time, sequence and form.

All is well.

revisited and edited 01/03/06

light in the soul

2006-01-01T15:45:00.000-05:00

If there is light in the soul,
There will be beauty in the person.
If there is beauty in the person,
There will be harmony in the house.
If there is harmony in the house,
There will be order in the nation.
If there is order in the nation,
There will be peace in the world.
--Chinese Proverb

Four Sacred Things

2005-12-31T01:43:00.000-05:00

Declaration of the Four Sacred Things

"The earth is a living, conscious being. In company with cultures of many different times and places, we name these things as sacred: air, fire, water, and earth.

Whether we see them as the breath, energy, blood, and body of the Mother, or as the blessed gifts of a Creator, or as symbols of the interconnected systems that sustain life, we know that nothing can live without them.

To call these things sacred is to say that they have a value beyond their usefulness for human ends, that they themselves become the standards by which our acts, our economics, our laws, and our purposes must be judged. No one has the right to appropriate them or profit from them at the expense of others. Any government that fails to protect them forfeits its legitimacy.

All people, all living things, are part of the earth life, and so are sacred. No one of us stands higher or lower than any other. Only justice can assure balance: only ecological balance can sustain freedom. Only in freedom can that fifth sacred thing we call spirit flourish in its full diversity.

To honor the sacred is to create conditions in which nourishment, sustenance, habitat, knowledge, freedom, and beauty can thrive. To honor the sacred is to make love possible.

To this we dedicate our curiosity, our will, our courage, our silences, and our voices. To this we dedicate our lives."
~~Starhawk

miracles

2005-12-31T01:32:00.000-05:00

"Virtually all the problems we see are created by people failing to live their lives in harmony with the one Great Commandment, The Golden Rule. And yet in the midst of such horrendous negativity, we fund such great saints...and the quiet, often unrecognized saints who deal with tragedy and deprivation with kindness, unconditional love and ever-present support....

If you would have peace, embody the fruits of the spirit:

Forgiveness
Tolerance
Serenity
Compassion
Charity
Motivation
Joy
Faith
Hope
Confidence
Courage
Will
Reason
Wisdom
Love

And the greatest of these is Love.

With love all things are possible, including miracles. Forgiveness may be an essential beginning of the journey towards unconditional love."
~~C. Norman Shealy, Miracles Do Happen, A Physician's Experience With Alternative Medicine,1995

healing

2005-12-30T20:38:00.000-05:00

Tea for Ache-relief.
I tried this for my neck pain and accompanying headache. I found this recipe in Herbal Teas, 101 Nourishing Blends for Daily Health & Vitality, byKathleen Brown and Jeanine Pollak, through Storey Books. All the ingredients are
anti-smasmodics for the muscles, mind and emotions. Sipping this after
appplying the massage oil below with a heat-pack to my sore neck and
shoulder -- aah! ver-ry relaxing.
1 part catnip leaves
1 part chamomile flowers
1/2 part hops flowers
1/2 part red clover blossoms
1/2 part spearmint leaves
1/8 part organic lavender flowers (we have to add the "organic", because
lavender flowers are widely available for all sorts of purposes and might
have
been treated with pesticides, etc.)
1/10 part organic orange slices, skin and all
Combine all the above ingredients in a pot and cover with boiling water.
Cover and steep for 15 -20 minutes. Pour into a nice, big mug. It's optional
to add a dollop of honey to counteract the bitterness of the hops. Sip and
allow tension to melt away.
Massage Oil for Neck Pain with accompanying
headache:
In a spoonful of almond oil, mix
3-5 drops of pure lavender essential oil
2-3 drops of pure lemon essential oi
3-5 drops of pure geranium essential oil
Massage into the skin on the neck and scalp. Afterward, a hot-pack, like
the ones filled with grain that can be heated in the micro-wave, applied
over the sore area, adds greatly to the relaxing, soothing effect.

In Europe, before the Inquisition claimed the lives of more than nine million
traditional healers and herbalists, an earth-centred, orally transmitted
knowledge of wellness, magic and healing wisdom was easily accessible to anyone
who desired it.

During the burning times of the Dark Ages, many books of science, medicine, music, poetry, history, and religion were destroyed. And the burning travelled Eastward during the Crusades. Great libraries of books on mathematics, geometry, physics, astronomy, astrology, alchemy were destroyed by Crusaders who were often illiterate zealots, loosed on the "infidels' in wave upon wave over many bloody years. With Columbus, Christianity turned its destructive attentions Westward on the 'heathen' native people of North and South America.

That any fragments of knowledge survived the Christianization of Europe and the Americas, may be in part due to the tendency of the human heart to anarchy. The more suppression and oppression there is, the more stubbornly some element of resistance persists.

Although much was lost, not even the burning of witches at Salem, nor the disenfranchisement of midwives and women healers by the rather recently developed but patriarchal modern scientific medical establishment has been able to totally eradicate the old ways.

Something in human nature intuitively knows that authority figures, the scientific medical establishment, and pharmabusiness tend to walk together in lock-step in the interest of profits for their shareholders. Tthe purported goals of finding solutions to the pressing problems of humanity too often take a back seat to profit. Politics often is a disguise for greed.

It is frustrating indeed to the scientific medical establishment and government authorities then, that the statistics tell us that most people have, at one time or another, used some alternative, traditional, herbal or folk remedy, rather than seeking out treatment from, say, a medical doctor. But there you have it.

Recently, there has been an explosion of information about and practioners of those alternatives. Access to the traditions and knowledge of parts of the world which remained largely unaffected by the intrusions of Christianity and the Industrial Revolution, have yielded us in the West a body of esoteric knowledge of incredible richness. That might have been our heritage as well, if we had not been inspired by a Platonic belief in a truth (like Christianity or scientific research) outside of ourselves, to throw out the baby with the bathwater, forsaking our personal, intuitive wisdom, which had always been intimately connected to the natural world we lived in.

Anarcy will persist. Intuition, visionary connectedness to tradition, and magical trust in spiritual insights continue to provide many in our world today with fresh, vibrant, supportive alternatives that promote health, vitality, joy and peace. In addition to our own folkways, we are learning more and more about the ancient bodies of wisdom that survived in places like China, India, and Tibet. Even conventional science is proving many of these treatments to be very effective.

That is not to say at all, that the knowledge we have gained through scientific inquiry is all bad. However, the limits of science may well be its abject conscription into the services of war and commerce. Pure science rarely is done anymore as it is deemed too expensive. Where science does not serve the purposes of governments or business, or when it calls into question some dogma of conventional medicine, it is labeled quackery. This despite the fact that scientific medicine is relatively new, still less than a hundred years old, as if the experiential body of knowledge of the old folk-ways, tried and tested over centuries, is not as valid. Would it not be more likely that the relatively newer scientific medical modality of treatment might be found, through trial and error, to be at best, ineffective?

However, more harm, more complications and more deaths can be attributed to accepted, scientific, conventional medicine these days than to the treatments of alternative "quacks." Look it up yourself: the numbers are frightening! Why is this happening? Yes, quite often, errors are rife. In health-care, human errors occur as the patient progresses, with great pressures of time- and cost-effectiveness, along the assembly-line delivery system. Often, particularly at the entry-point into the health-care system, the WHOLE patient is not HEARD. Sometimes, conventional medicine is just wrong. Other times, conventional medicine just doesn't have an answer to the problems the patient presents, but offers harmful band-aid solutions anyway (often drug-treatments, surgical 'exploration' or intervention, radiation treatments, etc.), with terrible long-term consequences (called 'side-effects' or 'complications').

So how does an ordinary person decide on what to do? First, acknowledge the actual benefits of recent scientific medicine. It has definite accomplishments to its credit. Diagnostic tools, the treatment of infectious diseases with antibiotics, and many surgical procedures have been of real benefit to our society and will continue to be so. Secondly, alternative therapies are often more subtle in their effectiveness, useful in instances of less acute illness and often extremely beneficial in individuals with chronic pain due to emotional, psychological, or spiritual dysfunction.

It might seem then, that alternative therapies are therefore more susceptible to the quack practioners. However, I believe that evil begets evil. In other words, if an individual is seeking someone to whom to abdicate responsibility for their own wellness, a quack will be found to step in, whether in conventional scientific medicine, or in the alternative therapies.

It really takes the self-care and responsitity of the individual to seek the treatments that make sense not only from logical, objectiveand rational points of view, but from the more soul-ful, intuitive and spiritual view. That wholistic search is what an individual must do. Ultimately, the individual themselves is the most instrumental in the final outcome. Whether it is through the individual's compliance to treatment or belief in a cure, the largest part of the work of healing is done by the individual themselves.

I have always said that we are still pretty much in total ignorance regarding how actual healing takes place. That's the magic of it. It certainly is not a completely objective, mechanical event, although it is often aided by scientific medical treatment. And it is not usually accomplished either by the ministrations of holy oil, laying on of hands, or incantations of mantras or spells, divorced from the investment of the individual's belief or faith. The middle path seems to be the involvement and responsible participation of the individual who chooses his or her treatments with all the wisdom available to him or her. And the magic of healing seems to be the synergistic interaction of the individual's desire, intelligence, intuition, belief and participation in both the scientific mechanical/medical and the more mystical emotional/spiritual treatments.